What I thought I could not live without can live without me just fine. Ouch. When the realization of this hits you, you'd swear someone just ran over you with a truck.
I am not sure what I was thinking before, it all seems more clear now. I know...hind sight...20/20...blah blah....whatever.
I just made a fool out of myself. That I am used to so I will be able to recover from that. Its the rest I may have lost that will bug the shit out of me.
Sometimes I think I fuck up again and again in the same fashion cause I never learn.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Better isn't always Better
I know that a smoke free life is suppose to be better for me but I am thinking that smoking make me a more likable person. I know that with out cigarettes I am okay, but I also know that I am gaining wait again and that will turn me into a nightmare to be around.
I do not want to be a nightmare to be around, I am too much of an extravert not to want to be around others. I know that I will be physically healthier but mentally I am not so sure....
I do not want to be a nightmare to be around, I am too much of an extravert not to want to be around others. I know that I will be physically healthier but mentally I am not so sure....
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
The grass isnt always greener
So the saying goes, the grass isnt always greener. I do believe that, but the way the human mind work....one never knows. Having been on both sides of the fence at one time or another in my life I can only say that it depends on what shade of green you are looking for. Deep long lasting green, or vibrant green that fades quickly, dull constant green that remains forever but will be likely to need some care once in a while to keep it going.
I have had them all. I know that it is okay to have many things in ones life to keep one going. Currently that includes a brisk walk once or twice a day and a walking partner that currently curls my toes.
Did I mention I already live where the grass is really green. I actually love the grass I have. It's good grass. You just get really used to looking at your grass and suddenly the grass across the way starts to look interesting. Not better mind you, not like you want to mow it, take care of it, groom it. Nothing like that, for now you just like looking at it, learning about it.
I find the new lawn interesting. It was planted a few years before mine was but it was well taken care of. So well that lawns planted after mine think the other lawn is quite nice to look at.
I know that it is sometimes a little obvious that I like looking at the other grass, but as long as all I do is admire it, whats the harm.
Admiration is a wonderful thing. It is giant leaps away from being more but isn't.
I have had them all. I know that it is okay to have many things in ones life to keep one going. Currently that includes a brisk walk once or twice a day and a walking partner that currently curls my toes.
Did I mention I already live where the grass is really green. I actually love the grass I have. It's good grass. You just get really used to looking at your grass and suddenly the grass across the way starts to look interesting. Not better mind you, not like you want to mow it, take care of it, groom it. Nothing like that, for now you just like looking at it, learning about it.
I find the new lawn interesting. It was planted a few years before mine was but it was well taken care of. So well that lawns planted after mine think the other lawn is quite nice to look at.
I know that it is sometimes a little obvious that I like looking at the other grass, but as long as all I do is admire it, whats the harm.
Admiration is a wonderful thing. It is giant leaps away from being more but isn't.
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